4 Tips for Handling Parent Negativity

Every coach will have a time - probably at least once a season - where they have disagreements with parents. Whether it's your logistical planning, discussions over rehearsal times, teaching methods, artistic choices, or prop building, even adults do not deal well with criticism. If parents are unhappy, chances are they will talk to other parents before they tell you. These issues can be difficult to handle, so below are four tips to help manage, and get ahead of, parent negativity.

If this blog is interesting or helpful, please comment below! You may also want to check out other posts on the blog: food for long rehearsals, teaching performance qualities, and real-world application of Stonewall Independent guard rules.

What other ideas do you use with your team (and the question is for coaches, members or parents!)?

Set expectations
The first and best way to promote a positive environment for both the students and parents is to set very clear expectations at the outset. Some expectations that I like to set include the following:

• Rehearsal start times indicate when we start dancing/spinning/teaching, that isn't the time you arrive - remember you have to get the floor set up, equipment out, props assembled
• The end time for rehearsal is when we stop spinning. After that time we still need to have our final talk, and then clean everything up. If a handful of students have to leave early because of parent pressure, that means everyone else in the guard needs to pick up their slack, and that cannot be a regular occurrence or it will cause friction
• Our goal is to do well at competitions, but the scores and the placement do not define us. We can do the best we absolutely can but the score/placement is up to 5 individuals and their perspective of our show. We ask that parents encourage their students to strive for excellence, not a score
• Competition days are 100% reserved for color guard. The days schedules are not available until 2 weeks beforehand, so those days need to be free from any other commitments. Then when our rehearsal/competition schedule for the day is communicated to the team and parents, always include the disclaimer that the schedule is subject to change because show schedules are always in flux on site
• Whenever at a competition, only positive comments about other guards are allowed (or don't say anything at all - but really every guard has something positive you can talk about). Parents need to understand this just as much as the members. You never know who's in the bathroom with you getting dressed, or who's sitting behind you in the stands. Assume someone around you is with the guard you're talking about.

Promote dialogue
One of the best things you can do to flesh out any discontent or complaints about competitions is to promote dialogue between parents and staff. If you notice that parents are only expressing their concerns to each other, it might be a good idea to host a town-hall style meeting or one-on-one conferences to get these thoughts out in the open. However, keep in mind that if you want parents to feel comfortable voicing their concerns and complaints to you, it’s essential to remain empathetic, understanding and professional. Chances are that parent grievances are not an attack on you as a coach, even though they may initially come off that way. If you say you'll change something, be sure to follow through. If you disagree, share with the parent that you understand where they are coming from but you respectfully disagree.

Establish a social media policy

While you can’t control what parents and students post on their own social media accounts, you can ask them to remain respectful and positive while posting on or about your guard's page. Stonewall Independent has an unwritten (but very clearly understood) social media policy that outlines what content they encourage and what type of comments are not tolerated. Additionally, many color guards tell their members not to share any clips of their show, share photos of rehearsals, or comments about the show content without the okay from the director. We demand (politely) that our members also only post encouraging and complimentary posts to or about other guards. Then again, our members are selected based on their character as much as their spinning ability so this isn't something we tend to worry about, thank goodness!

Solicit volunteers
Color guards rely heavily on help from parents and volunteers. I find that soliciting volunteers and giving parents various roles/jobs, keeps them engaged. The benefit is that by volunteering, they start to see all the moving parts and therefore understand when schedules are flexible, or extra rehearsals are needed. If you don't see your calls for volunteers working, ask a parent or two to organize volunteers. Perhaps one parent is in charge of props and floor/prop/trailer logistics and they solicit volunteers for building, maintenance, transporting, etc. Then one volunteer can be in charge of chaperone coordination for every trip (one guard actually assigned a different parent to coordinate each show so no one had a huge burden and more parents were involved!). You can also have a parent in charge of any forms, or medical needs of students. Once guard I worked with had a policy of having 1 parent at every single rehearsal (usually split in two shifts) and they were there for emergencies, to help open locked doors on weekends, and just be there as an extra set of hands (usually they brought a book to read or yarn to knit).